Ashanti Child

2010-08-25T21:33:00.002+10:00

For an update on the China situation, and to make your blood boil, I refer you to Emma and Aaron's blog.

In the 2.5 years that our file has been in China, referrals have progressed by about 3 months. So at that rate, our baby is approximately 20 years away.

Emma and Aaron are a few months behind us. So using that logic, Sebastian will be grown and left home before their adoption comes through. But they are expected to withdraw and start the process again from the beginning.

Sometimes there just aren't enough swear words.

2008-07-04T12:43:00.001+10:00

Looks like allocations this month will take us up to 25 January 2006.

2008-06-07T08:57:00.002+10:00

Referrals?

It looks like referrals are coming shortly. The rumour is that the cut off date is 22 January 2006. That's 10 days allocated - the previous allocation was only 3 days. According to my spreadsheet, at this new quicker pace, it will be only 7 years until we see the Panda.

Oddly enough, 7 years sounds like good news at this point.

2008-05-21T18:30:00.005+10:00

I made a natty little spreadsheet today. You enter in the most recent date allocated, and the date allocated prior to that, and it works out how long it is until our LID, then calculates - based on that rate of allocations and the days between referrals - what date we will receive our allocation.

So apparently we will see our next child on 31 July 2026.

2008-05-04T09:15:00.002+10:00

Referrals are up to 12 January 2006. Currently the rate of referrals is 3 days every month. :(

I'm feeling a little more heartened after reading the IAFQ (International Adoptive Families of QLD) magazine this month. There are plenty of families where the older children are 16 & 13 or whatever, and the parents are close to 50. We would hardly be unusual in that regard. And at least we won't be paying 3 sets of school fees at once... plus Gemma will be old enough to babysit the Baby Panda and drive her to swimming or whatever, while I rest my weary bones.

2008-04-23T19:09:00.002+10:00

Allocations are up to 9 January 2006 and our LID is 25 December 2007. Wow, that only leaves about 1800 days to get my 100 Good Wishes Quilt ready... better start planning!

My friend Stephanie, Quilter Extraordinaire, sent me a beautiful necklace in honour of the Panda's quilt. Click on the link to our quilt blog (to your right and down) to see it. You can see she also has plenty of quilting projects to keep her busy while she patiently waits for me to get my arse into gear.

2008-03-13T17:26:00.000+10:00

Here's a shameless plug for my favourite online store:

2008-02-17T08:09:00.002+10:00

Gosh, if we have to wait 4 years for our baby, then I had better find something else to update this blog about, otherwise I am going to lose all my loyal readership - both of you.

So I will tell you about my au-pair instead. At the recommendation of a friend (Jo, over at Horizontal Hostess), a few months ago I decided to look into getting an au-pair. This is really common in Europe but almost unheard of here. The idea is that you have a young woman (or man) live with you, and for room, board & pocket money, they help with light housework and child care. I was really struggling to get the kids ready and off to school on time when I was trying to get to work myself, and I was finding that I would get home in the evening and I have to clean up the breakfast dishes before I could even think about starting dinner. Then I had to make sure the kids had done their homework, emptied their bags, showered etc. I felt that I was spending my life yelling at the children instead of having any fun with them.

But then along came Lucie. Lucie moved in with us last Wednesday. She is from the Czech Republic - gorgeous, smart, friendly & helpful. Already the children are arguing over who carries Lucie's handbag from the car. Lucie is here to study for 6 months, and is working as an au-pair to pay her living expenses. She starts Uni on Monday, and I think I might get to start having a life.

So if you have a couple of kids and a spare bedroom, maybe you should consider getting a bit of help also - you don't have to do it all on your own. (Of course, some of you may have husbands who love housework - don't tell me about it - you will only upset me.)

Here's where I met Lucie.

2008-02-04T10:33:00.000+10:00

Apparently the China Center for Adoption Affairs doesn't close for Christmas - our LID is 25 December 2007. Merry Christmas!

2008-01-22T20:40:00.000+10:00

Time since Monday, December 24, 2007 at 12:00:00 Noon (Brisbane time)
29 days
704 hours
42281 minutes
2536897 seconds

But who's counting?

2008-01-22T20:34:00.000+10:00

Our file was received in China by Mr Li on 24 December 2007. No LID yet.

2008-01-13T14:15:00.000+10:00

We've been batched!

We are now officially one sixth of QLD Group 8/07.

2007-11-30T16:58:00.000+10:00

The dossier has been posted!

Now for translation and notarising and blah blah blah other stuff that someone else does. In a few weeks we will be asked for some more cheques, then our file will be sent to China. Some time after that (could be a couple of months) we will get a LID (log in date) and then everything hinges on that date.

Families who are being allocated currently, have a log in date of roughly 2 years prior. We are expecting an allocation date of up to 4 years past our log in date.

So don't start knitting the booties yet...

2007-11-23T12:59:00.000+10:00

Finding Zhao Gu

2007-11-08T06:10:00.000+10:00

Every month, the China Centre for Adoption Affairs refers children to families. The families currently receiving referrals have had their files in China for a bit less than 2 years. The last few referrals have only included a few days worth of families (does that make sense?) To make it clearer, the families referred this month had their files logged in at the CCAA in the first two weeks of December 2005. That's why I believe that we will have a four year wait from when our file arrives to when we are allocated. It used to be quicker than that, but as more people apply and there are more families waiting, it takes longer.

Anyway, if you like to have a cry over the babies allocated this month, here they are at China Adopt Talk.

2007-11-07T06:20:00.000+10:00

Now that we have been approved, it's time to start the quilt. My lovely friend Stephanie has been patient for so long but her quilting fingers are itching to get going. So until I find a spare minute to write the letter, you can start browsing fabrics and thinking about what you would like to say. Pop on over to our 100 Good Wishes blog and you can read a bit about why we are doing this, and also learn a bit about quilting in general.

Steph has a way of getting completely average non-creative joes to create masterpiece quilts. It hasn't worked on me yet, but it has on plenty of others.

2007-11-03T07:26:00.000+10:00

Progress report:

I have had my police check with fingerprints. (That's a bit embarrassing. You just want to tell everyone who walks past "Oh, I'm adopting... I haven't been arrested... I'm adopting... yes, hello I'm adopting...") For the record the cost for that is $146.70 and I had the certificate back within a week. It just says that I don't have any criminal convictions anywhere in Australia.

Scott and I have both had our medicals ($102 each) and blood tests (bulk billed to Medicare.) Scott has to go back to the doctor as one of his tests indicated something funny in his kidney or liver or something (I always get those two mixed up), possibly related to the medication he is on for his cholesterol.

I have my Certificate of Profession from my employer, but Scott's is going to take longer because he is self-employed and our company tax is a year behind. I will be nagging him about this constantly... oh wait... I already do.

We have to have it all together and submitted by end November because we will be away in December and I don't want us to be the couple who hold up the batch!

2007-10-12T20:57:00.001+10:00

Great news! We have been approved! And, despite the delay, we haven't missed any batches.

Now we wait for a letter in the mail to tell us what to do next. I know we need updated medicals and police checks. And I think we have to write a letter to the Chinese government asking to be allowed to adopt, and have everything translated into Chinese and notarised. The paper chase part 2 begins in earnest...

2007-10-10T17:32:00.000+10:00

Woohoo, progress!

We got our report through and it is all very positive and we have been officially recommended for approval. I have written to say that we accept the report, and now we just wait for it to be passed by the committee, or something like that, and we will be approved. After then it comes time to prepare our dossier and I believe that is quite a big job. Hopefully we can get that done by December as we will be away on holidays for most of that month. I'd love to see our file winging its way to China before that.

Can you believe it's been nearly 11 months since we did our Education????

2007-09-03T16:37:00.001+10:00

*sigh*

I thought it was odd that we had our last interview 3 months ago and hadn't heard anything since then. So on Friday I rang the Department to find out where we were at. It turns out our social worker sent our assessment to the department in early July and it has been lost. Now they are running around trying to find it. Our social worker tells me she has recommended we be approved, so that is great news, but I confess I am frustrated at another 7 or 8 weeks lost. I wish I had chased it up sooner but I really don't know how long these things are supposed to take, and we have been so busy I didn't really realise how long it had been.

Children keep you young, right? Because it's looking like we could be in our 50s before the Panda comes along.

2007-08-23T06:29:00.000+10:00

A helpful reader sent me a link to e-petitions, which I forwarded to the organising committee and thus:

"Hi All

We need your help in signing this e-petition (see the link below) in order to rectify a wrong in Qld with the increase of intercountry adoption fees. We would very much appreciate your help in our quest to have these fees kept in line with CPI (2.5%) and not as a cost recovery exercise by the government.

Once again the Queensland government is making it difficult for couples wishing to adopt from overseas. They are proposing to increase the fees paid to Adoption Qld by 250% to over $5000.00. Below are a few reasons for our concerns

Local adoption costs $500 - intercountry over $5000.00 because the Qld government say they have no responsibility to overseas children or families wanting to adopt from overseas.
This increase is pure cost recovery - there will be no increase in service or post adoption services put in place for our adopted children
No other government department does this kind of cost recovery.
They state this increase won't affect families as adoption is expensive anyway. Some families will not be able to adopt as it is getting too expensive.
Why are we being discriminated against???
Below is a link to an e-petition we have set up with the help of Pat Purcell. If you have not already signed a paper copy of the petition that has been circulating in recent weeks, please follow the link below and these 5 easy steps:

Yes - you want to sign petition
accept conditions
write down number -continue
fill in details including number from previous page
submit

http://www.parliament.qld.gov.au/view/EPetitions_qld/CurrentEPetition.aspx?PetNum=885
Thank you for taking the time to do this if you have already signed a paper petition on this issue please do not sign the e-petition

Thank you for your help & if anyone on your email list would like to help please pass it on – the more signatures we can collect the more convincing will be our protest!

Please feel free to circulate this to anyone --- anywhere in Australia.

Many thanks

Mark & Sharon

President & Vice President

IAFQ Committee"

You have to be a voter in Queensland to be able to sign this petition. Please send onto anyone you know who you think may be supportive.

2007-08-18T22:11:00.001+10:00

More Trixi...

2007-08-18T22:04:00.000+10:00

The old fashioned way...

My baby sister had a baby of her own yesterday. Trixi Emilia Jayne was born at 4.45am by emergency caesarian. It's amazing how few hours of labour Jen had to go through before she acknowledged that adoption looked pretty bloody good in future :).

Trixi is a delightful little creature. I hope that she will have little sister or brother around the same age as our China Girl. Otherwise she can be the extremely cool older cousin that Gemma is going to be to Trixi.

2007-08-15T14:33:00.000+10:00

The Queensland Government is planning to increase the cost of International adoption by 250%. Given that it's already an incredibly expensive business, and most of us are not Angelina Jolie or Madonna, this seems a bit unfair.

I could get pregnant and give birth in the public system without paying a cent and that would cost the government thousands of dollars.

Here is an extract from an email from the IAFQ (International Adoptive Families of Queensland.)

1/ The department is planning to increase assessment fees by 250% for intercountry adoption assessments to $5060 on 14 October. There is no fee increase planned for local adoption assessments which remain at $486.30. We are being discriminated against because the Department don’t view intercountry adoption as their “core business”.

2/ No one else will benefit other than the Government. This extra revenue will not be channelled into better post-adoption services or efficiency gains - it will be removed from the operating budget for the next year.

3/ Our community is being punished for not taking up fostering. Increasing our fees is a deliberate ploy to play to a group who are so heavily emotionally invested that they will do anything or pay anything to complete their families.

4/ We are not rich people, many people will be tipped out of the process by this increase in fees. Despite the Government playing the emotional card we all have a finite amount of money.

If you are interested in signing a petition to be tabled in parliament, please email me on sandie68@gmail.com and I will send it over to you.

2007-07-08T20:51:00.001+10:00

Friday, July 6th was my 39th birthday and it was also the day that our social worker rang our children's guardians (in the unlikely event that Scott & I perish in a firey car crash) to check that they are cool with making decisions regarding our kids, including one adopted one. Luckily, we had checked with them first and they answered the questions correctly :). All going to plan, their services will never be required, but it's nice to know that the department are covering all the bases.

2007-06-02T07:57:00.000+10:00

We had our final (hopefully) social worker interview yesterday. You will be happy to know there were no invasive personal questions... other than the regular-garden-variety-invasive-personal questions. Just stuff about what our childhoods were like and how we get along with our siblings, mainly. There was also a part where we had to look at a list of potential problems we could encounter with an adopted child and say whether we thought we could handle them. These included a child who won't show affection, a child who steals, a child who was born of rape or incest, a child with a facial birthmark and numerous other possibilities.

We know there are some things that would be very hard to handle. We are unlikely to face some of these issues adopting from China. The health requirements for Australia are pretty strict so we figure if our baby can get past the Australian government, then we can deal with anything else. We have a wonderful family doctor and we will know plenty of other people who have adopted from China so we will have many supports available to us. And if a situation becomes really hard to handle, then we will take ourselves off to a professional for assistance.

Some of the problems that adoptive children face are the same problems that all children face. Scott & I firmly believe that in the face of an issue, we have to consider whether it is an adoption-related issue, or if it's just part of being a kid.

2007-05-24T11:42:00.000+10:00

Interview no. 2 was last Sunday. Once again, it went very smoothly. We talked about our childhoods, the way we were raised and the way we parent our children. She also had a chat with the kids, who both told her they were a little bit concerned about getting Mum & Dad's attention once the baby arrives. That sounds pretty much to be expected. Plus, I think we have prepared them so much for attachment issues, that they thought it would be a few months before they would be allowed to pick the baby up! I had to explain, no it might only be a few days, she will just have to get used to Mum & Dad first.

Next week we will talk to her individually. Scott thinks she will ask us about our sex lives and I really don't want to have that conversation. He, like all men, thinks that something must be wrong if we are not swinging from the chandeliers on a regular basis. I think it's perfectly normal for the woman in the relationship to go "oh chandeliers... now I have to clean them..."

2007-05-10T19:53:00.000+10:00

PS Not only did I not clean up a thing, she arrived early so I had only just arrived home and hadn't even finished cleaning up the kitchen from breakfast. Let me assure you, she didn't even blink at the mess. She said she couldn't care less and I believed her. Even when she sat on the couch and got one of Ben's toys in her bottom.

2007-05-10T19:47:00.000+10:00

It went well. She was really nice and it was really comfortable. Luckily, some of the issues that have to be covered don't apply to us (dealing with infertility, knowledge of parenting) so we may be able to get through our interviews a bit more quickly than some other waiting parents. This interview was only about an hour and was just an introduction. Next interview is 20 May and will be a half day.

The only issues we may have today is that our house might not pass the safety test. We are not fenced down one side and we might need to have that fenced before we can be approved. We have a high hedge though, and hopefully that will be enough. Also, we may have to move a low shelf in our bathroom and put a lock on the shed. These are all things that we have never worried about but the social worker has to dot every i and cross every t.

2007-04-27T05:58:00.000+10:00

Slight change of plan... Thursday 10th May will be our first appointment.

2007-04-21T10:01:00.000+10:00

Wheeeeee!!!!!

Gosh it's been an up and down week. May 4th is our first social worker interview!

Mind you, the expected wait time now from when your file goes to China to when you are allocated is about 3 years. Can you all stick with me that long?

We are just going to do what we can and get on with our lives. As Max Ehrmann says in "Desiderata":

And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

2007-04-16T19:35:00.000+10:00

My mum died yesterday morning, some time around 5am. She had been very sick for some time with Motor Neurone Disease (AKA Lou Gehrig's Disease, AKA ALS)and was seriously not having fun any more. My sister Jen and I went and saw her today. She wasn't there, of course, only a sort of wax doll that looked a lot like her, but peaceful and beautiful. I felt a bit silly talking to her when it was so obvious that she wasn't in that shell anymore, but heck, I couldn't see a better option. The funeral is Monday.

2007-04-14T07:50:00.000+10:00

Finally... received a letter yesterday saying that we have been assigned a social worker and our assessment period starts 26 April. That means that the social worker has 3 months from that date to have our assessment ready for submission to the department (I think.) We should hear from her shortly to organise our first interview.

Apparently some people clean their house from top to bottom and spend hours baking elaborate Chinese-style snacks for their first interview. That won't be happening here. I might ask Scott to shave though.

2007-03-14T17:41:00.000+10:00

Grrrr....
Had a call on my answering machine this afternoon from Adoption Services saying that we were asked on 19 Feb to send our $2000 assessment fee and they are still waiting on it. I called back but of course they were closed, and left them the details of the RECEIPT they sent me dated 22 Feb for the fee. I am so annoyed. I wonder how much time has been wasted by this error?

A lovely couple who we met a few months back had put their EoI in one month before us, and they have already finished their assessment and been batched and here we are still waiting for Adoption Services to find our cheque that I sent them the very same day they asked for it.

Cranky cranky cranky. (mental note - delete this post if Adoption Services ever start reading my blog.)

2007-02-25T21:56:00.000+10:00

Today we went to a function put on by the FCC (Families with Children from China) support group. It was great that it was the week after Chinese New Year so it didn't clash with other commitments. They had someone come in from the Cathay Club to speak to us about what Chinese New Year means and the children could paint a lantern or a pig mask, and some of them painted lion heads so they could all do a Lion dance. The little Chinese children are so gorgeous! It mad me so clucky except that I confess the idea of going back to nappies and whatnot is a little intimidating. Gemma & Ben are so easy to look after these days! Oh well, I remember feeling the same way when I had Ben because Gemma was 5 by then, but you get past it.

It was great to speak to people who have been through what we are going through, and many of them are very happy to help us out by answering our numerous questions. It was also fantastic to meet some people who are at the exactly the same stage us, so hopefully in the future will be our batch buddies.

I asked Gemma & Ben what their favourite part of the morning was and they both replied "The food."

2007-02-20T06:32:00.000+10:00

Yesterday I got a phone call from the Dept of Child Safety to say that our file looks all fine and we should send $2000 to cover our assessment fee. I have that ready to send today, and apparently we should start our social worker interviews in the next few weeks.

2007-02-18T10:05:00.000+10:00

Our holiday to China - still in Wuxi

We spent the next couple of days sightseeing & shopping in Wuxi. We bought coats and other warm clothes for Beijing and we visited the Tai Lake. The lake was beautiful but it was so cold that we didn't hang around to look for long. Holly also took us to a place where movies are made - there are lots of movie sets - apparently the Japanese TV series "Monkey" was filmed there. (And I know you are all going "ha! Monkey!" in your best Pigsy voice now.)

Above is the Carrefour supermarket, which I believe is a French chain. I just loved the supermarket - the fresh food section was so extensive. If you wanted, say, an omelette, there was a chef making fresh omelettes. It was like buying cold meat at a supermarket here - but SO much better. Later on, in Beijing, I went to the supermarket a few times and bought food to cook in our apartment. Eating out was wonderful, but I do love to cook.

We also visited Holly's dad's textiles factory, and her aunt's clothing factory. We were surprised by the very good working conditions - it's not what you expect from what we hear about Chinese factories.

On the evening of the 10th, we went to Wuxi train station, said goodbye and "xie xie" (thank you) a million times to Holly and her family, then boarded our "soft sleeper" overnight to Beijing.

2007-02-18T09:33:00.000+10:00

Here are some more phots from the park in Wuxi. It was stunning when we where there in Winter - I'd love to go back and see it in Spring.

2007-02-18T09:23:00.000+10:00

Our holiday to China... Wuxi
We spent the next 3 days in Wuxi being tour-guided by Holly, our lovely Chinese student, and her very generous family. We visited a park with tunnels under the mountains, and in one of the tunnels was a small reptile display. When I say "small", I mean the display was small. The reptiles were not small. They had a crocodile, a big goanna type thing and two enormous pythons. One of the snakes was rubbing his head on his body as though he was scratching himself. After watching him for a little while, we realised that he was actually shedding his skin. We had arrived just in time to watch him. It was the most amazing sight. We could have stayed all day but Holly's mum, Zhou, was waiting outside as she really doesn't like snakes.

2007-02-11T20:34:00.000+10:00

I'm happy to announce that we completed our family profiles and other homework and delivered it to the department on 2nd February 2007. More information as it comes to hand...

2007-01-15T09:32:00.000+10:00

You may notice also that I have changed the name of this blog from Ashanti Girl to Ashanti Child. This is in recognition of the fact that since we are not specifiying a gender, we may end up with a son. It's more likely to be a girl, but I don't want to prepare everything for a little girl in case we are allocated a boy.

If you've ever wondered what the word "Ashanti" has to do with a Chinese adoption, I will explain. "Ashanti" is the name of the place where I meet my online friends. I have friends there from the US, Canada, Ireland, England, the Netherlands and more. I chose the name "Ashanti" for this blog because to me it means that the world is a little smaller than it used to be. These places might be far away but the people are surprisingly close. I think that applies to international adoption also.

2007-01-15T09:23:00.000+10:00

I have an online friend known as Fionn who I have known for about 7 years. Fionn is a very patient and talented woman with an eye for detail and she has very kindly offered to make me a 100 Good Wishes Quilt for our baby.

The idea of a 100 Good Wishes Quilt is to welcome a baby into the world and it is a tradition from northern China. Friends and family send squares of fabric and the fabric is sewn into a quilt and the messages that come with them go into a scrapbook as a permanent reminder of who has contributed. We will be blogging the process here and I'll put the link over to the side as well.

(and the rest of the holiday story is coming, I promise!)

2007-01-01T19:39:00.000+10:00

The Holiday to China - day 3

We decided to be bold and go out for a breakfast for our last day in Shanghai. The problem was however that almost nowhere had a menu in English or pictures of the food so we wandered frustrated for an hour or so until we found a noodle bar. We managed to point at what we wanted but couldn't order a drink. I only know how to ask for coffee, tea or water but couldn't seem to get across that we wanted a drink of any sort. No problem - the noodles come in soup anyway :). After going back to the hotel to pack up we took a train to a local shopping centre where we wandered for a while just looking at the people and the things we don't have at home. That's my favourite thing about travelling - just seeing what people consider normal that seems so strange to us.

After a cafe meal of frogs' legs and other assorted delicacies, including some exotic teas, we went back to the hotel to meet Holly, our student who was picking us up to go to Wuxi to visit her and her family for a few days. Shanghai was generally pretty easy to get around. The only real problem we had was that the train stations were marked on our map, but after walking for ages to get to one of them, it turned out that half the line was still under construction!

Holly met us with her driver at the hotel and crammed our hands full of chinese drinks and lollies and snacks for our drive. She had really been missing chinese food while she was in Australia so she was really excited to have so much to choose from, and to introduce us to so many new delights.

Wuxi is about 2 hours north-west of Shanghai and for most of the drive it was still pretty built up. Holly called it countryside, but by our standards it wasn't even close. After Shanghai though, it looked like wilderness! We arrived in Wuxi at about 5.30pm and Holly took us to the hotel that her family had arranged for us. It was a lovely hotel, right in the heart of town called the Wuxi Jin Jiang Grand Hotel. The best thing about it was the bed! It was the size of two queen size beds and was made up with giant sheets and quilt and pillow that fit all 4 of us in. I want one at home! We got cleaned up then we met Holly's parents for dinner.

The first night they took us to the Wuxi Roast Duck Restaurant just around the corner from the hotel and we had our first Beijing Duck. Wow, it is so YUMMY. You roll it up in pancakes with spring onions and shovel it in. We were amazed at how much food there was but learned later that that's a standard thing in China - they over-order. Sometimes they take the leftovers home with them, but often just leave it. I've often seen Chinese people in Chinese restaurants with mountains of food on their tables and wondered how they stay so slim, but now I understand - they don't eat it all. I'll never feel guilty over-ordering and asking for a doggy bag in a Chinese restaurant again - in fact I have already done it since we got home.

2007-01-01T18:16:00.000+10:00

The Holiday in China - day 2

We found our closest train station, worked out how to buy train tickets (which was thankfully very simple) and headed off to People's Square. This is a big beautiful park, full of people doing Tai Chi and other exercises, and families with small children feeding the white pigeons. The little kids are so cute - all bundled up like Michelin babies. Many of them seemed to be with their grandparents - always the best form of child care! We bought some bags of food and fed the birds with the other families. We were quite a tourist attraction. We've travelled a fair bit but this was the first place where we really stood out as being different. The Chinese gushed over our children as much as we gushed over theirs.

A friend had told us about a good fake market at a train station so we hopped back on the train and headed there. The market was really just warming up, as were we, so we didn't purchase anything except a couple of t-shirts. (Based on the principle of "don't carry coals to Newcastle" we had brought very few clothes with us.) Outside the train station however was the shiny new Shanghai Museum of Science and Technology. We adore science museums so this was a wonderful find. It's not in my (2001) Lonely Planet China so we hadn't been expecting it. It is brand new and still incomplete. It took us a while to work out how to get in but the locals were happy to help (once they understood we had already been to the fake market and didn't want to buy a Rolex or a Luis Vuitton handbag) and pointed us in the right direction.

The museum was great, and once I can remember where it was, I will tell you. It will be better though, once it is complete. We spent 4 or 5 hours there, even having a reasonably priced lunch in the restaurant. The highlight was an interactive kids area with a "battle of the minds." You and your opponent stand at either end of a table with a small silver ball in the middle. You have sensors strapped onto your heads, and the activity of your brain pushes the ball along a magnetic track toward your opponent. Sort of like a backwards tug-of-war but with your mind. I am sad to confess that Gemma & I had our butts kicked by the boys.

We finally left the museum in order to meet up with Champs, an old school friend of Scott's who now runs a ritzy restaurant in Shanghai. We met him at The Bund and he took us to a Chinese restaurant called Shanghai Uncle which he said is a family style restaurant and there are several of them throughout the city. The meal was delicious. Their speciality is roast pork - it's pork belly cut up into chopstick-friendly portions and seasoned - yummy! It had been a huge day and my feet were blistered so it was off home to bed for us. Even the idea of shopping in the Bund area held no appeal by that time.

2007-01-01T17:52:00.000+10:00

The Holiday in China (part one)

Okay, after that gentle hint from Emma, I guess it is time for me to update the blog with a bit of talk about our holiday in China. If that sounds about as interesting as coming over to look at our holiday slide show, then you can skip this post and any future ones which I will thoughtfully label "The Holiday in China" for you.

We flew from Brisbane direct to Narita with JL and then took a connecting flight to Shanghai. This is an excellent way to get to China and we felt it was much simpler than going via Sydney. Narita Airport was an eye-opener in itself - doors that open and turn into trains, and toilets that are more high tech than my computer. More about that later though. We took a taxi from Shanghai Pu Dong Airport into the acommodation we had booked - Celebrity Service Apartments. I had booked this hotel on the web and was really pleased with what we got for the equivalent of about $AUD80.00 a night. Also, they provide on their website the name and address of the hotel written in Chinese so you can hand it to your taxi driver. The trip itself was most unpleasant however - it was a van with no seatbelts (as is the norm) and the driver drove very fast (as is also the norm) but it seemed more dangerous than any other trip we took in China. I guess because you are sitting up so high that if anything went wrong, we would have all been propelled throught the windscreen.

The hotel had two bedrooms, each with a double bed, and a bathroom. There was no living area, just two cupboards to put your suitcases in. I wouldn't have wanted to stay there for a week, but for our short visit of two nights, it was excellent. I did take pictures of it to show you but Scott's computer ate all our photos from the first two days so unfortunately they were lost.

We woke up on our first morning in China and raced out to our balcony to see just what was outside. It was quite an eye opener. Everything was covered in a haze and all you could see in any direction was buildings. To our right was a school and we could watch the children going onto parade at 7.30am, the usual time for school to start in China. We took the easy option of breakfast in the hotel for our first morning, then headed out to explore Shanghai.

2006-12-22T07:02:00.000+10:00

We arrived home on Tuesday and I went back to work on Wednesday so I haven't even had time to think about updating here (although the fact that I am typing this makes that a lie, doesn't it?) but I hope to get to it on the weekend.

To all those people who keep asking, No, we did NOT bring home a baby. That is still TWO YEARS away. But it was tempting. The little kids in China are so cute, all rugged up in their coats like Michelin babies, with earmuffs and whatnot.

I am ashamed to report that we didn't even look at the 50 questions or family profiles once, but since I knew there was a question about hairdressing on the 50 questions, I did (in the interests of research of course) go to the hairdresser for a haircut and a perm. Amazingly enough, I got what I wanted despite the almost complete language barrier. And it cost less than a quarter of what it would have cost here. They don't charge extra for long hair - Australian hairdressers take note.

Anyway, more on the weekend, I hope, and maybe I will work out how to post some photos.

2006-12-04T05:23:00.000+10:00

Today we are leaving for our holiday to China. I have printed the family profile questions to take with us and maybe work on on the plane (yeah... right...) We also have to answer 50 questions about the culture we want to adopt from so we will definitely be doing that in China also. Maybe I can set that as a project for the children.... tell them it's a game... ah - what a wicked but wonderful plan!

2006-12-02T20:57:00.000+10:00

Today we finished our two day Education workshop and now we have to write a short novel and send it into the Department to move to the next step. The kids stayed with my parents today and on the way home in the car I asked Ben "What do you think it will be like to have a little sister?"
"Annoying" he replied.
This was not the answer I was expecting so I asked him why he felt that way.
"Because she will be little and not able to do anything and she will keep saying 'Ben will you do this? Ben, will you do that?'"
"But do you think you will love her?" I asked.
There was one of those long silences that leave you in no doubt that you have asked a really stupid question. Finally...
"What else?" he said. "You're crazy Mum."

2006-11-25T08:12:00.000+10:00

For your reading pleasure:

I've learned how to add links to my blog and you can see them over on the right there. "Playing with Myself" is not a masturbatory porn site, it's my brother's board-gaming blog. "Checking Boxes" is the blog of another Australian couple who are at the same part of the journey as us, and we will be meeting them at Education in a little under a week. "Bringing Home Olivia" is the story of a Canadian couple who are very close to allocation. I recommend having a look at the You Tube video on the first page of this blog which shows babies in a Chinese orphanage.

2006-11-18T06:09:00.000+10:00

16 November 2006

"I am writing concerning your interest in being assessed as suitable prospective adoptive parents for a child born overseas.

An essential part of the Intercountry adoption process is attendance at an Education Program. Information relating to contemporary adoption practice and the nature of adoption is complex. Attending educational groups is a necessary and valuable part of preparation for adoptive parenting.

The groups provide an opportunity for you to meet with staff of the Intercountry Adoption Unit and other people who have expressed an interest in being assessed as suitable prospective adoptive parents of a child born overseas.

The Education Progra will be conducted over two days, with both applicants required to attend. The program will cover a broad range of issues related to Intercountry adoption and provide the opportunity to address and discuss issues that are of concern to you.

SESSION INFORMATION:

Date: Friday 1st December & Saturday 2nd December 2006
Location: Brisbane

The program will start at 9.00am sharp with coffee from 8.30am. It is expected that each day's sessions will finish by 4.30pm. Morning & afternoon tea will be provided. May I suggest that you bring a picnic lunch to have in the grounds of the facility.

We understand that it is sometimes not easy to arrange to attend a two days workshop; however it is not possible for couples to be assessed until after attendance at the Education Sessions.

As sessions are adult focused, it is requested that you make your own child care arrangements (if applicable) as there are no child care facilities at the venue.

An attendance form is attached. Please complete and return the form to the Intercountry Adoption Unit as soon as possible.

After your registration is received, we will forward a letter confirming the date and a map of the location of the venue. Your timely response in confirming or declining your attendance at the education sessions will be appreciated.

Should you wish to discuss any of the above, please call...."

2006-11-14T08:49:00.000+10:00

I spoke to a lovely woman in the Expression of Interest team last week (they are so helpful there) and she told me that they were just waiting on our police checks and if they are okay then we should be invited to attend Education on 1 & 2 December. Now, I know our police checks will be fine (we both have blue cards) so I am biting my nails waiting for the letter with our invitation.

1 December is my work Christmas lunch, and the kids' Christmas play but both will be hastily cast aside if we are invited to Education. The kids understand - they want a baby sister as much as we do. God, I love them. They are beautiful children.

It's only 3 weeks until our holiday to China. We will leave on 4 December and have 2 nights in Shanghai, then 4 nights in Wuxi visiting Holly (our Chinese student) who will be home with her parents at that time. Then we are planning to take the train up to Beijing for a few touristy days. As we have a company in the sustainability industry, an industry colleague has offered to take us around near Beijing and show us a demonstation sustainability project. Scott is REALLY looking forward to this, as am I. The Chinese are a long way ahead of us in terms of environmentalism, and I guess this has been forced upon them as a way of dealing with their enormous population. On the way home we will stop in Tokyo for 2 or 3 nights, depending on whether we want to spend an arm AND a leg on accommodation, or just one limb.

2006-11-03T13:00:00.000+10:00

Cost for two adults & two children to be immunised against:

Tetanus (for me & Scott)
Hepatitis A and
Typhoid

is a total of $772. Now technically, these immunisations are for our holiday to China next month, but since we would have to have them anyway in order to go to China to (eventually, hopefully) collect our daughter, I am including the cost here. I figure some people may read this blog in order to find out what hurdles and expenses we incurred along the way so I think you should be aware of this one!

2006-10-31T21:19:00.000+10:00

Today is 31st October, my self-imposed deadline for having all documentation back for establishing our eligibility. I knew the only thing that the Dept of Child Safety didn't have was one reference so I sent a text message reminder to my lovely friend Lisa yesterday and she was on the phone this morning telling me that she was completing the form as we spoke, and she was happy to ring the Dept and get their fax number so that they would receive everything today.

Now to wait and see what happens next...

We are planning to be in China for holidays from about 3-18 December so hopefully we will make our next move prior to that.

In the meantime, I am comfortable with several words of Mandarin. The most useful ones include:

Me, I, my, mine
You, yours
He/she, his/hers
Like
don't like
am, is
friend
mother
Thank you
hello
how are you? Well, thank you or Not so good.
and the numbers up to 7.

I like Mandarin. It's a practical, sensible language. So long as you are only trying to speak it, that is, not write it.

2006-10-21T07:35:00.000+10:00

Quick update - I had my medical on Wednesday and Scott had his yesterday. I just have to get my chest x-rays on Monday and assuming all is okay then our medical part will be all done.

Jeannie from the EOI Team called me to say that we can't use Damien as a referee because he doesn't live in Queensland so our friend Cahrol has come to the party instead. Very impressively, Jeannie received our paperwork on Wednesday and sent the referee's forms out the same day. Cahrol received hers on Thursday and sent it back the same day. yay! Thank goodness, because I forgot she was going to Peru for a month leaving Friday.

So all is going swimmingly at this point. Fingers crossed it stays that way.

It's Gemma's 11th birthday today and Ben's 6th birthday on Monday. Hopefully by the time they turn 13 and 8, they will have a Mei Mei (little sister.)

2006-10-10T12:53:00.000+10:00

Yesterday we got the letter. THE letter. The "we invite you to establish your eligibility" letter. The letter that means we are officially in the process. Woohoo! There are 3 parts to this next step.
1. Health Assessment - We need a complete medical check by our family doctor as well as chest x-rays. I've made appointments for Scott & I to see Dr Julie next week to have this done. I have to confess to how much alcohol I drink. Oh thank god I don't smoke any more. Smoking is a big no-no. They ask about genetic diseases. My mother has MND - I wonder if I have to tell them that? It's not proven to be genetic - it's only a theory, and we are not aware of anyone else in the family having it. I will ask Dr Julie. I have to tell them about the health of my parents anyway so I'll need to admit to it there, but I don't want to write it in the box next to "are you aware of any... genetic predispostion to any medical condition which may affect your life expectancy?" Oh, and I have to have a pap smear. Can't hardly wait.

2. References about your suitability - I have already spoken to two good friends of ours who are prepared to lie... er... I mean... tell them what wonderful people we are. Truth is, there are so many people we could have chosen as referees but we chose two who we think are reliable enough to write back considering we don't know how much paperwork is involved. So thank you to Lisa & Damien who love us and want to help us in The Quest for the Holy Girl. If you read this in a few years time, you can say "hey, look - we were part of that!"

3. Criminal history checks - We will piss this in. Scott has a few speeding fines (which he hates me mentioning) but otherwise we are squeaky clean. Good boys and girls. Consider this children - if you do naughty, silly things when you are little, when you are a grown-up it can affect you in ways you never dreamed of. Like you might not be able to adopt. So be good. Thus endeth the lesson.

I am aiming to have all of this paperwork done and back to them by the end of October. If we pass this stage I think we are assigned a social worker and then have to pay another $2000. Ooh, I am getting excited!

2006-09-23T14:07:00.000+10:00

In the next stage of the adoption process, we have to create a Life Book for the child. This is a book that I guess would be similar to the baby books you create when you give birth to a child. It's something precious for that child that tells them a bit about who they are and how they came to be with you. Most of the life books I have seen are scrap books. Mine will be a scrap book too, except that I am going to focus on the words equally and make it a story book that I can read to our new daughter.

Today I wrote the first draft of the story, and here 'tis.

Once upon a time, in China, there lived a little girl. She was a bright, smart, happy, beautiful little girl and she lived with lots of other little girls at the orphanage. It was fun to have so many other children to play with and the people who cared for the little girls were very kind, but sometimes they told her that one day all of the little girls would go to live with a family.

A family is a wonderful thing to have. There are people who love you and care for you and want to be with you for the rest of their lives. You have a mother and father who look after you and brothers and sisters to play with. Sometimes parents in China have little girls and they are not able to care for them so they send them to the orphanage so that the little girls can find a new family. We don’t know why this little girl’s parents had to send her to the orphanage. We only know that it must have been the hardest and saddest thing they ever had to do. I’ll bet they think about her every single day.

Meanwhile, a long way away in Australia there lived a family. There was a mother and a father and a sister and a brother. They were a happy family but sometimes they felt something was missing. They just didn’t feel complete.

One day the mother read an article in a magazine about little girls in China who needed families. She spoke to the father and the sister and the brother about it. “I think,” she said, “that what we need to be complete is a little girl from China. I would like to ask the government if we can have one of these little girls to come and live with us and be part of our family.”

The father and the sister and the brother thought that was an excellent idea. A little girl from China was exactly what they needed.

So the mother and the father started the very long process of being allowed to have a little girl from China come and be part of their family. There were about a million interviews and about a trillion forms to fill in, but eventually the government said that yes, they would be allowed to have a new daughter from China.

But which little girl would it be?

Back in China, there are people whose job it is to look at all the families who need little girls, and all the little girls who need families, and match them up. They have to decide which family will be just perfect for each little girl. One day, one of these people was looking at a picture of a baby girl in one hand, and a picture of a family in the other hand. “Aha,” she said. “This is the perfect family for this little girl, and the perfect little girl for this family.”

In Australia, the mother received a phone call to tell her that there was a baby waiting in China who was just right for her family. The mother was so excited, and she couldn’t stop crying. All of the family was very anxious to get to China and bring their new baby girl home.

The next few weeks were so busy! There was so much to do but eventually the family flew on a plane to China and went to the orphanage where the little girl lived.

It was a little bit scary, meeting everybody for the first time, but straightaway they all knew that everything was as it should be. They were all just right for each other.

Of course, you know the rest of the story because that little girl was you. Now you live in Australia with Mum & Dad and your sister Gemma and your brother Ben. We’re all so happy to have each other, and none of us would have it any other way.

2006-08-19T07:06:00.000+10:00

Now that we have joined a couple of support groups, I find there are plenty of families who are much further down the journey than we are who also have websites or blogs.

This website belongs to Lee & Donna who are meeting their baby daughter Xiao tomorrow. I wish them the very best and looking forward to the day when we are in the same boat.
http://www.ourjourney.bigpondhosting.com/index.htm

Next weekend we have a Chinese student moving in with us. Her name is Holly and she is 17. Holly is here to learn English but we believe we also have a lot to learn from her. Our hope is that over the next couple of years we will acquire a greater understanding of Chinese culture and some basic Mandarin.

My brother has recently become close friends with a delightful Chinese woman, so if he plays his cards right then our Chinese baby might have a Chinese auntie and cousins. That would be wonderful - I don't want to hope too hard in case the Gods notice how well things are going down here.

Now all we need is to be invited to apply...

2006-08-02T16:10:00.000+10:00

Today I posted the first paperwork so I guess we are now officially in the process. That was the Expression of Interest form. From here, we will be either given the flick, or invited to apply.

On Sunday at International Day we met lots of people who had their children within 2 years of starting the process so I hope that will be the case for us also.

2006-07-25T17:31:00.000+10:00

Yesterday, through work, I met a woman who is adopting from Ethiopia. She and her husband have been going through the process for five years! Her file has been in Ethiopia for two years. Now they are just waiting for the call. They have asked for a sibling group so it's lovely to think that a family will get to stay together because of them.

She tells me that the process is tedious and frustrating and you will be expected to jump through any hoop that the Child Safety department thinks is a good idea at the time. However she also says that it's good to see that not just anyone can adopt.

She also tells me to hang in there and not give up. I think I'll need to remember those words in a couple of years - I'm still all starry eyed at the moment!

I'll see her again on Sunday at International Day - the family fun day for the International Adoption support group.

2006-07-19T21:08:00.000+10:00

...drumming fingers impatiently...

Still no sign of the marriage certificate. For the last 12 years I've managed to get by with using the thing I signed at the church on the day but now I need the real deal.

I've found our birth certificates and I've printed out the multi-page Expression of Interest form. I think I can handle the questions... but it feels oddly like an exam.

2006-07-05T17:27:00.000+10:00

As at 3rd July, the list is open and we can now put in an Expression of Interest. For further info on what is involved, see here - http://www.childsafety.qld.gov.au/adoption/intercountry/index.html.

I've applied today for a copy of our marriage certificate ($25) and when that arrives I can pretty much go ahead and fill in the forms.

2006-06-27T20:05:00.000+10:00

Big news! We got a letter in the mail last week that confirms that the process opens on 3rd July! That's when we can put in an Expression of Interest. There are also information nights to go to, and hopefully we can go on 8th July. Must line up my brother for babysitting...

I also want to keep a record of costs on this blog. So far I have spent $80 to attend the support group info day (in August) and $35 to join the support group. It's called International Adoptive Families of Queensland. They also have a family day out coming up, so we'll try to get to that.

2006-06-01T20:53:00.000+10:00

I've sent off a cheque to join an international adoption support group, however finances are seriously bad right now so I am terrified that when the time comes, we simply won't have the money to go ahead. I'd never considered finances as a problem but I guess that's the pleasure and pain of being a small business owner.

2006-04-06T18:31:00.000+10:00

The author of "Jesse's World" talks about the reactions you may get from your family members when you tell them you are adopting from overseas. Apparently some people get negative reactions - a kind of suppressed racism is the insinuation.

We don't expect any negative reactions - we are pretty confident that our families will be supportive and happy for us just as they would be if we announced another pregnancy (god forbid!)

We told my parents a couple of weeks ago. This was a tough one. My Mum has Motor Neurone Disease and there is not a snowball's chance in Hell that she will live to see this child. I felt a little insensitive telling her about our plans but decided that it was her right to know she is going (hopefully) to have another grandchild and that she still has the right to good news despite her illness. My Dad's reaction was pretty much as I expected - he said "oh great, I love Chinese food" but later on asked for more information. There's nothing Dad loves better than being a grandfather so he doesn't give a rat's arse where the grandchildren are coming from - just bring 'em on!

I'm in no great rush to tell everyone else - I mean, we haven't even filled in a form yet, so I don't want to tell them now and have them wait through what must seem like the world's longest pregnancy. It could still be 2 years before the baby arrives in our home.

I love the thought that this child is likely to be of a similar age to my sister's children and my cousin's son. I worry a bit that Gemma & Ben will be so much older that the Ashanti Girl will feel like an only child, but so long as we have friends and family with children of similar ages I think it will be fine. My sister is 10 years younger than I am and we are great friends now, but growing up we didn't really know each other. Now she has to do her duty and present my new baby with cousins of around the same age - I think she will be happy to comply :).

2006-04-04T19:17:00.000+10:00

Scott and I have finished reading Jesse's World (http://www.capersbookstore.com.au/scripts/shop_item.asp?by=cat&item=1900) by Basia Bonkowski. It's the stories of several international adoptions in New South Wales. Some of them are heart warming, some heart breaking, but most of them a bit of both. We already know that this is what we want to do, but reading the book makes us wonder how could we possibly not?

16th April 2006

2006-03-16T21:23:00.000+10:00

A blog.
Blog.
I'm blogging.

Um... why am I doing something about which I have no idea? I don't even read other people's blogs let along write my own, but there is something important that I feel I need to document, so I am taking this step out of my comfort zone to get it down.

I am here because of Marie Claire. Marie Claire, the magazine. Marie Claire, the magazine that published, god knows how many years ago, an article about women who had adopted babies from China. The story that really got to me was about a single American woman who had adopted an abandoned two year old girl and brought her home to be her family. After being home a few months, she was explaining to the little girl that they would be moving house. Her daughter queried "Can I come with you?"

The thought that there are a) children who are abandoned on the street and b) who have no comprehension of what it is to have a stable family life simply broke my heart. I told my husband about it and said that one day, after we have had the two children that we had planned to have, I would like to adopt from overseas. He agreed that it was something he would like also.

Back then there was no agreement between Australia & China but we simply filed the idea away in our memory banks and got on with our lives. Things ran smoothly... we had a daughter, Gemma, and then a son, Ben. Towards the end of 2004, when Ben turned 4, I thought it was time to look into international adoption. After a short period of research online, I contacted the government department responsible for adoption only to find that we had just missed an intake, and they had no idea when the next one would be, but probably not for at least a year.

This wasn't such a problem for us. I was 37 at the time, and was hoping to have our 3rd child by the time I was 40. The previous intake would have been too soon for us anyway. I had no idea how long it was between intakes though, so after a year I started to get a little nervous.

I sent an email in early March 2006 querying if there was any idea when the waiting list would be opened again. The response was prompt and polite and it's meaning was clear - no idea.

Imagine my surprise when a week or two later we received an official newsletter from the QLD Government Department of Child Safety which said, in part, "Couples with active Expressions of Interest and have not yet been invited to progress to this stage will be invited to establish their eligibility in 2006." We also received an invitation to an information day run by an international adoption support group.

Here is the update from the newsletter on the China program:

"The China program continues to run smoothly. In 2005, 15 children were placed with Queensland families. A further 18 couples are in China awaiting advice of a placement. Currently, 62 couples are in various stages of the assessment process. The Chinese central authority has confirmed that the files sent in the future will be placed with a child under two years of age or over six years of age. The age requirements for prospective adoptors are being confirmed and will be advised once available."