The old fashioned way...

My baby sister had a baby of her own yesterday. Trixi Emilia Jayne was born at 4.45am by emergency caesarian. It's amazing how few hours of labour Jen had to go through before she acknowledged that adoption looked pretty bloody good in future :).

Trixi is a delightful little creature. I hope that she will have little sister or brother around the same age as our China Girl. Otherwise she can be the extremely cool older cousin that Gemma is going to be to Trixi.

The Queensland Government is planning to increase the cost of International adoption by 250%. Given that it's already an incredibly expensive business, and most of us are not Angelina Jolie or Madonna, this seems a bit unfair.

I could get pregnant and give birth in the public system without paying a cent and that would cost the government thousands of dollars.

Here is an extract from an email from the IAFQ (International Adoptive Families of Queensland.)

1/ The department is planning to increase assessment fees by 250% for intercountry adoption assessments to $5060 on 14 October. There is no fee increase planned for local adoption assessments which remain at $486.30. We are being discriminated against because the Department don’t view intercountry adoption as their “core business”.

2/ No one else will benefit other than the Government. This extra revenue will not be channelled into better post-adoption services or efficiency gains - it will be removed from the operating budget for the next year.

3/ Our community is being punished for not taking up fostering. Increasing our fees is a deliberate ploy to play to a group who are so heavily emotionally invested that they will do anything or pay anything to complete their families.

4/ We are not rich people, many people will be tipped out of the process by this increase in fees. Despite the Government playing the emotional card we all have a finite amount of money.

If you are interested in signing a petition to be tabled in parliament, please email me on sandie68@gmail.com and I will send it over to you.

Friday, July 6th was my 39th birthday and it was also the day that our social worker rang our children's guardians (in the unlikely event that Scott & I perish in a firey car crash) to check that they are cool with making decisions regarding our kids, including one adopted one. Luckily, we had checked with them first and they answered the questions correctly :). All going to plan, their services will never be required, but it's nice to know that the department are covering all the bases.

We had our final (hopefully) social worker interview yesterday. You will be happy to know there were no invasive personal questions... other than the regular-garden-variety-invasive-personal questions. Just stuff about what our childhoods were like and how we get along with our siblings, mainly. There was also a part where we had to look at a list of potential problems we could encounter with an adopted child and say whether we thought we could handle them. These included a child who won't show affection, a child who steals, a child who was born of rape or incest, a child with a facial birthmark and numerous other possibilities.

We know there are some things that would be very hard to handle. We are unlikely to face some of these issues adopting from China. The health requirements for Australia are pretty strict so we figure if our baby can get past the Australian government, then we can deal with anything else. We have a wonderful family doctor and we will know plenty of other people who have adopted from China so we will have many supports available to us. And if a situation becomes really hard to handle, then we will take ourselves off to a professional for assistance.

Some of the problems that adoptive children face are the same problems that all children face. Scott & I firmly believe that in the face of an issue, we have to consider whether it is an adoption-related issue, or if it's just part of being a kid.

Interview no. 2 was last Sunday. Once again, it went very smoothly. We talked about our childhoods, the way we were raised and the way we parent our children. She also had a chat with the kids, who both told her they were a little bit concerned about getting Mum & Dad's attention once the baby arrives. That sounds pretty much to be expected. Plus, I think we have prepared them so much for attachment issues, that they thought it would be a few months before they would be allowed to pick the baby up! I had to explain, no it might only be a few days, she will just have to get used to Mum & Dad first.

Next week we will talk to her individually. Scott thinks she will ask us about our sex lives and I really don't want to have that conversation. He, like all men, thinks that something must be wrong if we are not swinging from the chandeliers on a regular basis. I think it's perfectly normal for the woman in the relationship to go "oh chandeliers... now I have to clean them..."

PS Not only did I not clean up a thing, she arrived early so I had only just arrived home and hadn't even finished cleaning up the kitchen from breakfast. Let me assure you, she didn't even blink at the mess. She said she couldn't care less and I believed her. Even when she sat on the couch and got one of Ben's toys in her bottom.

It went well. She was really nice and it was really comfortable. Luckily, some of the issues that have to be covered don't apply to us (dealing with infertility, knowledge of parenting) so we may be able to get through our interviews a bit more quickly than some other waiting parents. This interview was only about an hour and was just an introduction. Next interview is 20 May and will be a half day.

The only issues we may have today is that our house might not pass the safety test. We are not fenced down one side and we might need to have that fenced before we can be approved. We have a high hedge though, and hopefully that will be enough. Also, we may have to move a low shelf in our bathroom and put a lock on the shed. These are all things that we have never worried about but the social worker has to dot every i and cross every t.